But why don’t they turn on the barbarians and stop them?

Yesterday Richard Dawkins continued his recent campaign of xenophobia on Twitter with the following:

Of COURSE most Muslims are decent people. But why don’t they turn on the barbarians and stop them? — Richard Dawkins (@RichardDawkins) March 10, 2013

It seems like such a simple question, doesn’t it? I assume Richard Dawkins thinks of himself as a decent person, as most atheists (OF COURSE) are, but why then does he not turn on the racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, and ableist “barbarians” in our midst? Why is Dr. Dawkins not allying himself with his fellow atheists who want to fix within our own community the very same problems he sees as evidence of the evils of Islam.

A friend posted a link to this article on Slate about a married man with no kids who is a homemaker . I loved the article. Due, in no small part, to the fact that this very well could have been how my life ended up. At one point in my life I was a physics major dating a chemical engineer - pretty clear who was going to be earning the big bucks there. While I only remember pieces of specific conversation, I do remember talking about multiple times. I married a woman who has a passion for what she does, but unlike the engineering major ex I’m definitely the primary breadwinner.

I’ve been running More Than Men for a year now (even longer if you count the pre-launch preparation we did) and I’m more proud than you can know of what I’ve done and the response we’ve generated – even the backlash from anti-feminists makes me proud. Unfortunately I need to step away for a few month to take care of some personal affairs. It breaks my heart to do so but I can’t keep doing this and also keep doing the things I need to do in my private life and be successful at either.

Over on Twitter the always fantastic Natalie Reed made a point about something that has been stewing in the back of my head for a while. Thanks to her I now know what to say. I made a handy Storify compilation for you to see what she had to say, below the cut.

View the story “Lookism and the face of misogyny” on Storify

See? That dude wasn’t really very creepy looking, was he? Now look at this picture of me on the right and pretend you don’t know who I am. You just see my picture without knowing I’m smart, funny, and run this blog. WHAT A FAT FUCKING NECKBEARD, AM I RIGHT? THAT DUDE IS SERIOUSLY CREEPY AND WEIRD! I WONDER HOW MANY GIGS OF BESTIALITY PORN HE HAS?? It’s okay, I get it. sexist people have (I guess) pointed it out that I am a weird fatso . But my question to you is: Why does that matter?

I’ve written before about San Francisco’s wife-beating sheriff and his fight to stay in office despite being on probation and, you know, not exactly being someone I would trust to have the best interests of domestic violence victims at heart. Well, it turns out that 4 of the city supervisors thing it’s super cool to have an admitted domestic abuser serving as the city’s top law enforcement official…while on probation.

[I was recently tipped off to a wonderful post by Ana Mardoll over on her blog. It’s part of her excellent Deconstruction series and she was kind enough to let me re-post it here.]

Content Note: Rape Culture Lately, I’ve been reading a lot of comments on the interwebs from genuinely nice guys who want to know how to be good feminist allies in this shitty rape culture world we live in. And it’s a more complicated question that it looks, since there’s a lot of conflicting advice out there about white knighting (which in itself is a confusing term with about four distinct and sometimes mutually exclusive meanings) and helpful-versus-unhelpful anger and nice guyism and creepers and OMG PARALYZED BY THE POSSIBILITY FOR WRONGNESS.

Last night the Republican party was able to share with us all an important lesson: In the modern world alienating women, people with disabilities, and racial & sexual minorities is a losing proposition. Even Republicans are admitting that this is not our parents’ America .

The Republican Rape Squad of Mourdock and Akin were resoundingly defeated , despite running in fairly conservative districts. Marriage equality won big . Women in elected office are now at historic highs in the face of sexist antagonism and antipathy from the Republican party. Barack Obama was elected to a second term despite a concerted campaign of lies against him , a disadvantage due to his race , and failing to give everyone unicorns during his first term.

It’s been a week since Justin Vacula resigned from his leadership position with the Secular Coalition for America, but people are still talking about it. I supported, and signed the petition asking for him to be removed. Vacula resigned without any need for the SCA to act. That’s not what I’m here for today.

I’ve noticed a recurring meme from Vacula’s defenders and from those who are “trying to be neutral.” This is regarding the post Justin prepared for A Voice for Men . People say we need to judge his post on its own merits and basically ignore where Vacula chose to post it. Bullshit, I say. Ridiculous. To not consider the venue is to not understand the message.

Juana Inés de la Cruz was a self-taught scholar , scientist, and poet - and later a nun - in Mexico during the 17th century. You’re learning about her because I recently read one of her poems that proves that Nice Guys and slut shaming are nothing new.

si con ansia sin igual solicitáis su desdén, ¿por qué quereis que obren bien si las incitáis al mal?

This year I was really bummed to be unable to attend Melody Hensley ’s fantastic, important, and much needed Women in Secularism conference. I was thrilled to learn that there would be a second one and even more thrilled when I saw the fantastic lineup of speakers Melody has recruited. I will be there in May 2013 and you should be, too – especially if you’re a dude.

Religion and the cultural we share with the religious has a unique and problematic relationship with women. If we want to use our secularism to improve the world and free people from the grip of religious dogma we need to examine the experiences and problems of all of humanity. Women in Secularism is a great step in that direction. I hope that the continued success of the event will lead to other large conferences on LGBT people, people of color, people with disabilities – all withing secularism, just where we want everyone to be.